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Bye Bye Ireland

I got the idea for the name last week when I was sitting on a bench at the Four Courts LUAS stop and a young woman, so thin she was nearly two-dimensional, told me that she had just been in Court to appeal a conviction.

“What was the conviction?”

“I got a ten year driving ban.”

Holy fuck. What had she done? Who had she killed?

“I’d got it for driving without insurance. My driving licence is out of date, as well.”

She showed me a used provisional licence. No, she hadn’t passed her test, she had always driven without having passed her test (like half the fucking motorists in Ireland …)

“But I need to be able to drive, cos I have four kids and they’re each got a different father and I have to be able to drive them round, y’know?”

I told her to get a good lawyer.

I was stunned, not just at the story I was listening to but at her absolute sense of her own self-worth.

There are some people who deserve to have low self-esteem.

So, let’s just pick this apart a wee moment …

– unmarried mother
– driving without passing a test
– driving without insurance
– four children
– of four different fathers.

Goodbye Ireland!!!!!!!


I want to use my computer

Trying to start this fucking blog has been a trial what with all the shitey pop-ups that are a bigger symptom of the chronic, low-level bullying that using a computer these days seems to entail.

I just want to use my computer. I just want to use my computer without all of these shitty pop-ups and reminders and things telling me what I have to upgrade or avoid or any of that crap. I really just want to use my computer.

A few years ago I had a broadband account with a certain large landline company in this country and, when I rang them up for advice, I got this prat whose voice had hardly broken and who rattled a load of jargon down the phone at me. When I asked him to explain what he was yabbering on about he replied “with that attitude is it any wonder you can’t work your computer?” He then refused to get me his supervisor, saying “she won’t want to speak to you.” When I did eventually get through to her, she was lovely etc, appalled and all that but when I wrote to them – no reply.

I switched to O2 Ireland, who don’t need a landline to give you a half decent computer service.

Why the fuck is it so hard to use my computer? What is the fucking problem? I remember the old days when you could just start up a computer and type and play games etc without all this NAGGING